going back to phpps made me realise i have basically no one to go with in phpps. ely and chuan, they have each other and missing kor. i simply have like, no one from phpps to go with. maybe it's time to move on. maybe i shouldn't call phpps my home anymore. i don't know. i just realised that maybe phpps has been my home without any family members. i don't know. i'm just super detached unappreciated and half dead. i don't know it's probably just me killing myself again. i'm missing the phpps people even more, although i just saw them today. i really really really don't know. seeing chuan and ely today was like, damn i'm missing rx on my side. it just switched on the whole kasey rx migration crap thing again. except this time it's + missing camp. i'll prolly not go back next year. i'm weak, i'm fragile. i'm not the person i swore to be. i'm not supposed to cry. not here, not now. not like anyone reads anyway.

argh