what am i supposed to not be allowed to lose it. everyone's changing. i'm watching the world turn by and yet no one seems to see anything. my heart is boiling and throbbing beneath me, and yet i have to press forth with homework. before today i thought it was impossible to tear over pepper lunch, on the bus(shit, wet psp) and over homework(crap smudge ink). let alone all on the same day. i just want to bloody release everything, watch it all free fall.and now i'm expected to put up a never ending facade, pretending i'm fine, showing the rest how nice life can be. slitting one's wrist and putting salt is fun.